4-26-08 Make up your Mind

CARLA-THINKING OF YOU ENJOY

The big debate in Washington now revolves around if the planting zone map should be changed.  It’s 18 years old.  What with global warming folks are saying the old map is no good.  But will all the global warming scientific smarty pants science guys support this? No.  They say we can’t change the map because we DON”T HAVE ENOUGH DATA.  The Department of Agriculture is worried that if the map gets changed and crops fail they could get sued.  The big issue is if they should use a 16 year model or a 30 year model.  The funny thing is everyone is flip-flopping over how to use the data.  The same folks that say we can’t use the 16 year model point out that global warming has accelerated over the last 16 years–Huh?  They also acknowledge that the earth tends to go through thirty year periods of change, with the 70″s being a cooling period.  So does that mean that Russian guy is right and we’re headed for a cool period.  I would be against that, it’s cool enough.  Of course now global warming is being blamed for the world food crisis (Sam’s Club is rationing rice).  I think I blame those Hollywood dopes with their hybrid cars.  I saw a prediction a few years ago that once oil hit $100 global food prices would skyrocket as farmers sold corn and stuff for fuel–looks like that fella knew what he was talking about.

Anyone for a ride on a Russian spaceship?  Those guys are crazy, everyone knows a space capsule should land in the water.  But in typical Russian fashion they decide to just crash into the ground.  Only just subjecting the crew to 8G’s and missing the landing zone by 250 miles. YIKES

Hey the Australians have a good idea.  They had a contest in the Sydney Harbor for self propelled flight.  There was this picture of a guy with a plane he built that looked like a bee.  It was crashing into the water (like space capsules should)  The guy was wearing a bathing suit, scuba goggles and a life vest.  I don’t think he had much confidence in his bee plane.

I think those French people have a screw loose.  At the University of Lyon they decide to shoot a laser bean into a thundercloud to see if they could make lightning.  How would they know?  Anyway according to LePerrie La DeBunk it didn’t work but “generated lightning precursors” and was an important “first step”  Okay so explain this, it works by stripping electron of atoms, the same way it happens naturally, and the purpose of the laser is to find out how lightning works.  Sounds like they already know.  They also talk about shooting rockets that spool a wire into the cloud (this works about 1/2 the time-Russian rockets).  Why would anyone want to do this?  haven’t they heard of Ben Franklin? Didn’t he live in France?  What’s with the French and lightning?  And how come they can’t spell french fries they call them Pomme Du La Frittes or something,  They have a lot of La’s over there.

I didn’t write last weekend because we went to see family in San Francisco.  One day while we were out there we drove by San Quintin so I could wave a Charlie Manson, and then on to John Muir Woods, they have a lot of big trees.  Then we went into the city and Fisherman’s Wharf.  I think that is a big rip, because I only saw one fisherman.  But we did have a 30$ lunch.  I got a bowl of soup, and so did my wife, only she had to get her soup in a sourdough bread bowl.  I told her that was wrong soup belongs in a bowl, not bread.  Sometimes you might put bread in your soup but the other way around is not right.  She got mad at me (her tolerance isn’t the same since she caught Alzheimers) because I kept singing that old Jefferson Starship song “We built this city on Rol and Roll” only I couldn’t remember most of the words so it sounded like ‘Dum de dum dee dum dum, dum dum dum dum de dum dum dum de de dum IN THAT KIND OF PLACE—um um um de WE built this City on Rock and ROOOOOOOOOOLLL” she asked me to stop so I started on “Dock of the Bay”–”I was sitting on the dock of the bay watching the something roll away dum dee dumm dum”  She didn’t like that either because she doesn’t have any good music appreciation.  But that wasn’t the worst part.  We had a family get together and my cousins son was there who she decided should hook up with our youngest daughter and started pulling out pictures.  Yikes.  I saved him by getting him to drive me to the store for more beer.  That’s because I’m a fine upstanding fella.

A plug for www.delta.com.  On the way home I left my noise cancelling headphones in my seat on one flight (it was my wife’s fault–she made me go to the bathroom while we waited to get off).  When we got on the next flight I realized it, and told the flight attendant, who retrived them.  Went out of her way to do so and I thank Delta. 

My paper is coming regularly. 

April 13th 2008

Been gone for awhile, since the old computer went on the fritz.  Boy, you don’t realize how much you start to rely on them until they’re gone.  I had to use the (gasp) phone!

Now those that know me know I like blueberries.  I think they are good.  I have blueberry plants and everything.  But let me tell you what I hate.  Blueberry milkshakes from the www.cookout.com These are “gourmet” shakes and generally pretty good.  But for the blueberry shakes they put real blueberries in them.  Have you every tried to suck a blueberry up a straw?  They don’t go through so good.  Pretty soon your cheeks get all constricted and pulled in and then the straw slips and gets stuck to your tongue, and that hurts.  So then you try and control the straw by putting it by your tooth, except the inside of your lip gets pulled in and now it’s stuck to both your tooth and lip.  And you’re making these funny faces and strange noises and peopkle come running to see if you’re okay and then they start laughing at you and you can’t do anything because you have a straw stuck to your face with a blueberry inside, and then the blueberry pops out but because of all the pressure it squirts out like a bullett and hits the back of your throat and you gag some more and evveryone is still laughing at you and no more blueberry shakes for me.

My wife refers to my blog as “Your adolecent reversion therapy”, but you know she has Alzheimers.  One day when she thought I wasn’t looking she started petting a gardinia plant and saying “Your so pretty”  then when I caught her she told me talking to plants was good for them.  So I started telling the tomatoes I wanted them to grow faster so I could eat them.  She said this was bad and that I shouldn’t say mean things to them.  I think we need to up her meds.  Anyway she says (in her occasional lucid moment) that I should be more serious.  Okay here goes.  I have said I want Hillary to win the election.  What I haven’t said is that I’m pretty tired of stupid politicians (and really I mean all of them)  I think whoever gets the job, is in for a real reality check.  War, rising energy prices, faltering economy, aging population, out of control healthcare costs etc.  While I’m on that let me add that I haven’t felt for over ten years that the economy was especially sustainable.  We’ve lived in a “bubble” economy.  A pepped up stock market, tech market and real estate market that’s not based on production or manufacturing but on service.  I beleived that when those bubbles burst, which they have there would be no value based replacement, and with the emergence of India and China as consumer nations the cost of basic products (commodities) would rocket up creating inflations, recession and as I referred to it world-wide equalization.  I might have been right.  I am highly concerned that politicians do not talk about the real issues which in my mind are 1) an aging population 2) We don’t make anything anymore (here in the US) and 3) and a service/consumer based economy.  So I’m not optimistic that the current standards of living are sustainable.  Then there’s the war, which is a no win situation for any President.  Health care? Having been in it for 30 years, I can tell you that you can talk all you want about programs/systems/coverage/whatever, in the end it should be called rationing because that’s what it is.  So when I say ‘Go Hillary” what I’m really saying is “I want to see you fall flat on your face” because whoever wins is going to despite anything they do.  Oh want another prediction.  Within 10 years water will be the commodity that creates war.

Okay, like I said after going to an organ concert in Budapest, that’s enough culture for one trip–let’s go have a beer.

I see where Ivana Trump got married again. (She’s 59 he’s 35 cradle robbing lecherous old goatess) Think about it she’ll start drawing social security when he’s 41.  So he got a little nervous and instead of saying “but a small token” he said “a small butt token” then the minister–who is Ivanas ex-sister in law said “not so small really”  She shouldn’t say that about a 59 year old womans butt.  it wasn’t very nice.  Just because they got divorced you shouldn’t say mean things.  Then Delta Airlines did a fly over.  Boy does that make me mad.  I wonder if someone inspected the plane first.  They said it was hot and everyone got dehydrated and a sunburn.  Haven’t they ever heard of Coppertone?

They found a frog in Thailand that doesn’t have any lungs.  It breathes through it’s skin.  This is a big important discovery because there is a frog in Madagascar (Madagascar is a funny name) that doesn’t have any lungs.  They think they’re related.  Something to do with some evolutionary link.  What about plate tetonics and can’t frogs swim?  I’m probably related to someone in China.

Okay, before MS. BOB writes and wants to ask about the torch protests I’ll comment.  Don’t these people have anything else to do?  “Oh let’s throw water balloons at the torch today because then Tibet will be free.”  I mean it’s funny that the Chinese are dealing with this (Comrade Torch Man: “We must protect torch from flying plastic water extingisher”; Comrade Torch Man Assistant “But how Comrade Torch Man?”; Comrade Torch Man “We will call Super-delegate”; Super Delegate ‘I am here to save the Day”;  Comrade Torch Man Supervisor “Run to the van–we will drive torch”  Protester ‘Hey that’s not fair”; News Announcer (quite breathlessly) “I can see it now, Peter, all the Chinese security forces have gotten in a van with the torch–OH NO someone’s on fire!! It looks like a chinese fire drill”; Comrade Torch Man ‘Help, Help, throw a balloon”; Super-Delegate “I am here to save the day”; Ivana Trump “I vill stop flame with big butt–OUCH”; News Announcer ” It appears the fire is out and the van is speeding down the street to safety, Sir Sir what did you see?”; Al Gore “I saw Ivana has a big butt”)

And then what’s up with San francisco changing the route?  So already the Chinese plans aren’t working.  No one saw the torch go through San Fransisco.  Maybe it didn’t.  That would be just like those sneaky Chinese.  And how come they only went to San fransisco?  It was the only North American stop.  They are going to go to the op of Mt Everest, but not anywhere else in North America?  I think this is wrong.  I think the next time the Olympics are in the US we should go to Tibet but not China.  The torch is powered by propane.  What is up with that?  Did the ancient Greeks have propane? I don’t think so.  The Chinese are a bunch of cheaters.  Did you hear they had to re-do all the bathrooms at the ‘Cube”?  I really can’t wait for these Olympics.  My wife (who has Alzhiemers) is upset that there won’t be any curling at the Olympics.  I told her, these are the SUMMER games so no ice stuff.  She said ‘Curling the national sport of Scotland–I saw that on TV”  I think she should go talk to a plant.

I have been writing this for 2 months and I’m not famous yet.  Why?  I am tagging this one ‘Ivana Trump/big fat butt” and Sneaky Chinese 

 

4-8-08-Bikinis and Nude Trumpet Players

Well, I’m back.  Right about the time I finished the last blog the machine made this noise, it sounded like PPPPFFFFSHSHSHSTTTTPH.  I thought this was bad.  Then when I tried to fix it it said “The wwt/ppt/123/34/wtt::::////port manual????;;file is corrupted. I thought this was bad.  Then I tried to shut it off and restart it and nothing happened.  I thought that was bad.  So I talked to a lady at work who knows alot about computers and she said all that sounded bad.  So I brought her the computer and she said “It’s bad”  So I went to my wife who has Alzhimers, and told her it was bad.  So she said “get a new one”  I thought that was good.

I will write more over the weekend, but I am very concerned about the Olympic Torch, could the Chinese be the first hosts to retire it?

Did you hear about how dirt eats antibiotics? I think this is bad.  Hillary is my hero.  I can’t make my e-mail work.  I think that is bad.

Until Sunday